


The World will never be the same

by Akiradrabbles



Category: Hamilton - Fandom
Genre: :(, Abuse, Anxiety, Depressed Hamilton, Depression, F/F, Henry Laurens is a jerk, M/M, Panic Attacks, every one is worried for Alex, poor child, sad Alexander, sad Hamilton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-10-17 08:44:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiradrabbles/pseuds/Akiradrabbles
Summary: Alexander, a foster kid from Nevis, was a complete wreck. After the hurricane that destroyed his home, his fathers abuse and abandonment, and his mothers death, he fell into himself. He couldn't get out.However, after multiple foster families take him in and only soon after give him back, Alex meets the Washingtons.





	1. No one seems to know your name

Sitting in the social workers stuffy car, Alexander found his eyes drifting from one side of the car to the other.

"And Alex, these people seem to be very nice, to say the least. I'm sure you'll love them." The lady driving sent a smile towards Alex, but he turned his head.

**That's what she said last time. Don't you remember how that turned out?**

Of course Alexander did. He remembered the last 13 homes he was sent to as if it were yesterday. The yelling, the disappointment, the insults, the attacks...they were all fresh in his mind.

**You deserved it, Alex. All of it. Don't forget.**

He wouldn't. Alex never forgot.

"Alex?" The social worker questioned, her eyes filled with worry and sadness. Pity. Alex felt his cheeks become flushed as he awkwardly turned his head towards the window. The social worker sighed. "Alex...I....I know this may not be a great way of looking at it, but I hope that this is the last time either of us find ourselves in this car together."

**I doubt it. These people are going to be the same as the others. They'll hurt you and then disown you and you'll deserve all of it.**

"I'll deserve all of it." Alex mumbled, not realizing that he was speaking out loud.

"Hm? What did you say?" The social worker turned her eyes in his direction, but Alex only shook his head.

"N-nothing."

"Anyway. Are you excited to see your new family?" The women, slightly grey-brown hair framing her tanned skin, grinned at Alexander. He noticed that it didn't quite reach her eyes.

**That's because she hates you. Hates you. Hates you. Hates-**

   Alexander was always pretty good at reading people. He assumed it was from the years of foster families that couldn't give a shit about him. He needed to tell what was on their mind - how he could easily avoid their wrath. If they looked angry you walked on glass, dancing around their gaze and doing what they say. If they seemed calm, you could put your guard down - if for only a short time.

   "Alex?"

   "Oh. U-um...sure, I guess." He turned his head back towards the window and closed his mouth for the rest of the ride. He assumed it did everyone better that way, anyway.

   Soon, the car pulled up to a rather fancy neighborhood. Alex marveled at the sight of large white and tan houses that were lined in a row. He had never seen anywhere so fancy.

   "Here we are." The social worker smiled at Alex and pulled into the driveway of a large, white mansion that almost seemed to tower over the other houses in the neighborhood. Not by much, but enough that it was noticeable.

   Suddenly, however, as he grabbed his small bag of belongings out of the car and began to head towards the door of the house, he felt nervousness bubble in the pit of his stomach.  
He'd done this before, so why was he still feeling anxious.

**Maybe it's because you're a stupid, emotional wreck. I can't wait until they kick you out and you'll be living on the streets once again.**

   "No." Alex did a sharp intake of breath, startling the women that was walking next to him.

   "You alright, honey?" The women said, placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, expecting a slap or something.

   "F-fine." He quickly said, trying his best to avoid the subject.

   She gave him a pitiful glance and turned towards the door and gave it a loud knock.

   **Pity. Everyone is pitiful. And for you? A dumbass, bastard-**

   The door flung open, only to reveal a man in his early thirties. He had jeans and a loose fitting shirt on. He grinned widely at the sight of Alexander.

   "Hello! My name is George Washington. You must be Alexander Hamilton. It's great to finally meet you." Quickly realizing that the two were still standing outside, he sheepishly smiled. "Please! Come inside."

   The woman walked in first, Alex following in suit. Once inside, he could only marvel at his surroundings. If he thought that this house was big on the outside, it was huge on the inside! He might have believed that this was the White House.

   "Have a seat." George said, gesturing towards a couch a armchair that was sitting in a living room. "I'll go get my wife and child." Leaving for a short moment, Alex sat awkwardly in the middle of the couch. His small and skinny body was timid and shaking ever so slightly.

   The woman saw his distress, but did nothing in response.

   **She's ashamed of you. She hates you. She hates-**

   George came back in, two more figures following close behind him. He could tell that when he saw Alexanders shaking, his eyes softened even more than they already were.

   "Hello! You must be Alexander. I'm Martha Washington." The women said with a tiny smile. Alex assumed that she was just a few years younger than George. She was beautiful as well, and seemed to give off that nice vibe that her husband did.

    "And this," George gestured to the giddy looking kid beside him. "Is our adopted child, Gilbert."

   "Bonjour! Just call me Lafayette! Or Laf, for short. They/them pronouns." Alex waved at Lafayette, who grinned back at him.

   "Alex- can I call you Alex?" Alexander nodded his head tiredly. "Let me show you to your new room." George finished and smiled once again. It seemed to be a warm, true smile, but-

   **They'll kick you out just wait just wait they'll kick you out and you'll die die die die die**

   "Goodbye, Alex!" The social worker laughed sadly, "and remember. If you need anything, you now where to contact me. And, I know this may not mean much." She smiled, "but I think you'll be just fine.

    **You never are.**

   "I never am" he muttered, before waving at the woman as she left out the door.


	2. Don't panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander panics *panics attack warning*

   After George took him up to his room, he could only marvel at how big it was. "Wow," he muttered, which earned a laugh from George.

   "I'm glad you like it." George placed a hand on Alex's shoulder, which Alex instinctively jumped away from.

   "I-I'm sorry, I-I-" he stuttered, not sure what to do as he stared up at the taller man.

   "Don't apologize, son." George gave Alex a small smile before turning towards the door. "I'll let you get set in before dinner." He smiled, "would you mind if I sent Gilbert up? He was very excited to talk to you." Alex shook his head. "Great! I'll see you in a bit, son."

   Once George left, Alex sat on the large bed that was up against the far wall. He pulled his bag up on the light green sheets and opened up the zipper. Inside were the few belongings that Alex had. There was a few articles of clothing, a small notebook with a green, leather cover, and picture of his mother.

   As soon as he set his last belonging on the bed, there was a knock at his door. "Mon ami?"

   "C-come in." The door flew open, revealing Lafayette in all their French glory.

   "Hello, Alex! What is, how do you say, up?" Laf smiled and sat next to Alex on the bed. Alex shrugged. "What's this stuff?" Lafayette looked over at Alex's things.

"Um...this i-is what I had since-" Alex trailed off and looked to the ground. Laf looked confused.

"Are you okay, mon ami?" They questioned, leaning closer to Alex and in an attempt to reach over and comfort Alex, raised their hand.

**HE'S BACK HE'S BACK HE WILL HURT YOU HE WILL HURT YOU HE WILL-**

Panic filling Alexander's eyes, he shot himself off of the bed and onto the floor. He pushed himself back and up against the wall, putting his hands over his head.

"Please," he begged, "I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry." Lafayette jumped off the bed and ran over to the small, shaking form on the floor.

"Hey...hey, Alex! It's okay, I won't hurt you, I promise." When Alex didn't seem to be letting up at his mumblings and his breathing quickened, Lafayette began to panic. "Hold on! I-I'll go get George."

Seconds later, Lafayette was running back into the room with George close at his heels. "What happened?" George asked, looking back at Laf.

"I-I don't know! I-I was talking to him and he-"

   "It's okay, Gil." He looked at Lafayette, "You did nothing wrong."

   Slowly approaching Alex, he knelt down to his level. "Son? I'm going to have you take deep breaths. Can you do that?" Alex made no attempt to respond, but George could tell that he was going to try by the way his eyes flicked over to George for a split second. "I'm going to count to ten, alright? Join in with me when you're ready."

    **DON'T CALL ME THAT DON'T CALL ME SON-**

   "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-" Alexander, his incoherent muttering stopped, began to count. His voice was shaky and Lafayette could tell that he sounded scared.

   "-7, 8, 9, 10."

   "There you go, son." George placed a caring hand on Alex's shoulder, and he winced. "I...can you tell me what happened?"

   Alex shook his head.

   "It's alright. Take your time." George smiled kindly.

   "I'm sorry, mon petit Alex! I didn't mean to upset you...or-or scare you!"

   They're blaming themselves for your fucked up personality. You did this, you selfish little-

   "I-i..." Alex tried to form words. He felt like he needed to say something, but he couldn't force any words to escape from his chapped lips.

   "You must be tired, son. How about you try to get some sleep. We will wake you up when dinner is ready." Helping Alex stand on his shaky legs, George gestured towards the bed. "Come, Gilbert." With a sad glance back at Alex, Lafayette followed George out.

   Climbing into the bed and resting his head on the overly fluffed pillow, Alex couldn't force his eyes to close. He was exhausted - he hadn't slept in who knows how long - but he was scared to close his eyes. He was afraid of the voices and the images and the things that he experienced when he slept. 

   **Weak. You were always so weak, Alex. Ever since your father hit you that first time. Ever since he-**

   "Stop." Alex begged, placing his hands over his ears, "Please stop."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh so I literally published this only a little bit ago and I already have 6 kudos! Thank you!!


	3. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander meets Lafayette's friends in the worst possible way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Swear warning?

Best friends

Alex had gotten no sleep the night before, not like it was at all surprising. The next morning, as the sun rose above the sky, Alex stood up and groggily reached for the notebook that he had shoved under his pillow the night before.

"Alex?" There was a knock at his door. "Are you awake, mon ami?" It was Lafayette.

"Yeah." Alex whispered, "you can come in." The door opened and in walked the French baguette. They smiled at Alex as they had entered.

"Bonjour, mon petit Lion!" As Alex cocked his head to the side in confusion, Laf laughed.

"'My little lion?'"

"You speak French?" Laf asked, their voice giddy and happy. Alex nodded.

"My mother taught me when i was very young. She felt that it was important to know."

"Tres Bien! Je suis tres heureux! Anways, I thought it was a fitting name. You look like a lion with your hair like that." As Alex put his hand to his hair, he noticed that it was puffy and frizzled.

"O-oh." Alex, becoming flustered, cast his head down.

"Don't be embarrassed! It's cute." Laf, once again, smiled. "Anyway, I am...uh...how do you say...very glad! That you are awake." Seeing as Alex wasn't going to say anything in response, they happily continued. "I was going to meet up with mes amies this afternoon and I was wondering if you would like to meet them."

A wave of nausea went through Alexander at the thought, but nodded. "O-oh...sure, I guess." He cast his eyes to the floor.

"Génial! Great! I think you will like them." Laf turned. "I think Martha is going to be making food. I will come to get you, yes?"

**But them liking you...that's unlikely.**

"Alex?" Laf was confused as to why Alexander had suddenly become unresponsive. "Mon ami?"

After a few moments, Alex spoke. He seemed unsure of himself. "Yeah."

   Laf frowned at him for the slightest moment, before smiling.

    **He hates you he hates you he hates you he hates you he-**

   "Oh!" Lafayette exclaimed, "We are brothers, yes? So...please, when you are comfortable...please talk to me. I will help you." They sent another smile and then left.

   **Hey, better be careful Alex. Remember? That women, Ms Alexis, said the same thing before you killed her.**

   The voice started laughing. "I-i didn't kill her. I promise." Alex felt so weak as his arms trembled.

    **Remember the car crash? She was bleeding and you did nothing but watch her and have a stupid panic attack. You did nothing but-**

   **Remember how her husband yelled at you. Screamed at you. Hit you? He hates you. Because you killed his happiness. You killed her.**

   "I didn't kill her! I didn't!" Alex screamed and put his hands over his ears. "I didn't!"

   **Killed her killed her.**

   "Alex!" George rushed in, Martha and Laf close at his heels.

   "I didn't kill her! I didn't!" Tears rushed down his face and fell into his lap.

   George wrapped his hands around Alex. Instead of breaking away, Alex leaned in and sobbed into the older mans chest. "Please..." Alex breathed in, "Please b-believe me! I didn't kill her. I didn't!"

   "I believe you. I know you didn't, son."

   And in that moment, Alexander felt utterly helpless.

   Later, as he calmed down, George made him get dressed and then sat him down for a conversation. Martha was next to him.

"Alex. We need to have a talk." George said.

As if he was a machine that was programmed to say something, Alex spoke. "Please don't kick me out. I-I understand if you have to but please I-I can't go back. I will do anything." Before he could continue, Martha put a hand on his shoulder. Alex, becoming suddenly scared, shot back. Martha withdrew her hand.

"Son." **Don't call me son.** George started, "We just have a few questions. The foster service didn't know too much about what happened to you in the past. They said all they know is that you were living on the streets for a long time. Can you try to answer some questions?"

Alex just sat there, stupidly looking forward. "Has anyone ever hurt you?" Martha asked, her eyes soft and caring.

Alex was at a loss for words. "I...I don't know what you mean."

"Has anyone, possibly someone close to you, ever hurt you in a...physical way?"

Alex wanted to jump towards her, screaming, 'My dad! He thought I killed my mom and blamed me and he hit me and kicked me and broke me and then he left! And I was lost and I had no where to go but to my cousin, but he killed himself about a month later so I was lost and I really can't go back on the streets because people have hurt me there too. And in the foster homes. And I can't do it anymore.' But he sat, silent and confused.

**It's because you're weak so weak and stupid-**

**IM NOT STUPID IM NOT.**

"Alex," George started, "We can't help if you don't allow us to."

"I don't know what to tell you." Alex's voice shook, allowing the other two to see right through his lie.

George sighed, "I know it'll be hard to trust us. Even though you won't say, I can tell that people have hurt you. In more than a physical way. And I am so sorry that you had to go through that. But please. As soon as you feel comfortable...please talk to us."

Fortunately for Alex, that was the end of that conversation. A few minutes later George called him over to eat breakfast.

Lafayette was sitting next to him, happily chatting to the whole table. Alex could hardly touch his food.

   "Alex, are you okay?" Martha asked, her tone questioning and concerned.

   No, not at all.

   "I'm fine. I'm just not very hungry. I'm sorry."

   She sadly smiled, "It's okay. There is nothing to apologize for."

   "Would it be okay if I took Alex to meet my friends?" Lafayette asked, causing both George and Martha to look at him.

   Martha sighed, "I'm not sure about that.." she glanced at Alex's figure.

   "Please? I already told everyone he'd be coming and they were all so excited to meet him!" Lafayette gave his parents a sad face.

   "I think..." George started, then paused. "I think that might be good for Alex. What do you think, son?"

   Alex shrugged, "I-I'd like that. I want to meet Lafayette's friends." His voice seemed so small; so weak. He hated it. 

   "Alright." George smiled, "But if you feel sick or anything, please use Gilbert's phone to call us." Alex nodded.

   "You'd better get going." Martha began, "Be safe you two." They nodded.

   "Come, mon petit lion! Let us go!" Lafayette practically bounced at the door and Alex couldn't help but let out a small giggle. Laf noticed and sent Alex a large grin.

"So....where are we meeting your friends?" Alex questioned, catching up to Laf's fast pace.

"In the park! We usually hang out there every Sunday." It was Sunday? That was news to Alex.

"Oh. Uh, cool." Trying to mask his nervousness, Alex started to swing his arms in an attempt to distract himself.

"The park is just around the corner. It is okay if we walk, yes?" Alex nodded.

"Um..." Alex hesitated, "How many people are we going to be meeting?"

"Five others."

'Five?' Alex thought, breath quickening, 'What if I make a bad impression. I can't- I can't talk to that many at once.'

"Alex? Are you okay?" Lafayette leaned closer to him, their face full of worry.

"I-I'm fine." Laf didn't look convinced in the slightest.

As the two approached the park, Lafayette squealed and ran towards a small group of people.

"Bonjour! Bonjour!" They gave each of the people hugs.

"Laf we saw you two days ago at school." A tall female with curly, dark hair laughed.

"I just can't help it, Angie! I've missed you all!" Laf cocked their head and smiled.

"Whose that?" A boy with light freckles sprinkled across his face asked. Lafayette turned back and called Alex to come closer.

"This is my adopted brother!" Lafayette grinned from ear to ear.

"H-hi." Alex waved, "I'm A-a-Alexander Hamilton."

"I'm Angelica Schuyler!" The tall girl exclaimed. "And these are my sisters." She gestured towards the girl next to her, who had straight, dark hair. "This is Eliza."

A blush spreading across her face, Eliza smiled, "Hello. It's very nice to meet you."

Angelica turned to the shorter girl, who was wearing a bright yellow sundress. "This is Peggy."

"Hi!" The girl exclaimed.

The freckled boy stepped up. "I'm John Laurens. It's cool to meet you, Alex."

"And I'm Hercules Mulligan!" The dark skinned and friendly smiling boy jumped up and cheered.

Alex tried to muster a smile and then fiddled with the hem of his shirt.

**God you can't even say anything they probably think you're a huge-**

"So," John stepped forwards, "how are you liking this city?" He slapped a hand to Alexander's back.

For a quick second that, to Alex, felt like a hundred years, his mind went back to a time after his mother died.

**" _You killed her you motherfucking monster!" His father screamed in his face and rose his hand. He took a swing at Alex, hitting him hard in the face. "I'll kill you. You deserve to fucking die."_**

Alex flew to the ground and put his hands over his head. For a second, he thought he was back at his house when he lived with his father.

"Hey-!" John shot backwards, surprised.

"Please don't I'm sorry I'll never disrespect you again I promise please don't hit me again I'll do whatever you say I'm sorry I'm sorry-"

"Oh my god." Eliza muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE.


	4. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Revolutionary Squad and Schuyler sisters are concerned, to say the least.

Alexander, his breath quick and shortened, continued to shake uncontrollably. Lafayette, slightly panicked themself, ran up to Alex and kneeled down to his level.

"Hey....mon petit lion. You're okay. Y-you're alright." Despite their calm words, Alex was too preoccupied with muttering words that broke Laf's heart. Someone had hurt him.

Someone had hurt him so bad and now Alex is scared of everybody. He doesn't even deserve this.

"Laf." Eliza kneeled by Alex as well. "I know what to do." She turned her head towards the smaller boy and smiled softly. "Alex." Her voice was soft as she tried to coax him out of the state he was in, "Im going to count to 10, okay?" she waited a few seconds before continuing. "Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix."

The further Eliza had gotten into her counting, the calmer Alex got. When she was finished, his breathing had slowed. His eyes, however, were still wild and scared.

John looked almost the same way, "Alex...I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"It's not your fault. You didn't do anything." Alexander croaked, his voice scratchy and quiet.

Lafayette could tell that Alex was embarrassed as he ducked his head into his knees. "You are okay now, mon petit lion?" Lafayette asked, "Would you like to go back home?"

**Great you ruined everything if you say yes he'll have to leave his friends and you would have, once again, ruined everything.**

"No!" Alex sniffled, "No...I-I'm sorry. This won't happen again I promise."

Laf smiled sadly, "You have nothing to apologize for, mon ami."

Nonetheless, Alex felt himself grow ashamed. He felt terrible for ruining Lafayette's day with their friends.

He turned towards Eliza, who was still next to him. "I....thank you."

She smiled in return, "It was no problem at all, Alex."

"Laf, is it okay if I go to the bathroom?"  
Alex quietly asked. He felt as if he was going to cry any moment and refused to do it in front of anyone else.

"Sure, mon petit lion." Lafayette smiled, before gesturing towards a large gazebo-like structure in the middle of the park. "They are in that building."

Standing up suddenly, Alex muttered a quick thanks and went on his way.

After a few seconds of Lafayette watching after Alex to make sure that he didn't get hurt on his way over, John took a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh my god."

"Mon ami..."

"I am so sorry Laf. I didn't-I didn't know!" John nervously looked to make sure Alex wasn't coming back.

"I should have told you guys before we came over. Petit Alex doesn't like to be...touched, as it seems." Lafayette rubbed the back of their neck

"What happened to him?" Peggy asked, then corrected herself, "Im not trying to be mean or anything! That sounded rude."

Lafayette sighed, "He...will not talk about it. George said that the social workers think that he was in an abusive home before they found him on the streets. It was also reported that he had been receiving many bruises and injuries at several of the foster homes he went to.  
However..." Laf hesitated, "Since mon petit lion wouldn't say anything about it, no one was ever charged. The foster system didn't care enough to do anything, either."

"Damn." John stared at he ground, wide eyed.

"He seems like such a great kid, too." Hercules muttered.

Eliza shook her head. "Then there is nothing we can do."

"We can help him cope with things, if he lets us." Angelica smiled softly.

Before Lafayette had the chance to say anything else, they saw Alex begin to head back. Lafayette frowned when they saw Alexander's red and puffy eyes.

"We will help him cope."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I just wanted to say that I don't speak French so if any of the French I make Laf say is wrong please let me know! Thanks ;))))


	5. Yellow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> George and Martha talk to Alex about school.
> 
> After, Alex goes out with the Recolutionary squad and Schuyler sisters, but things start hitting too close to home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I ever mentioned but Alex is 16.

      The next few days went uneventful. Alex was terrrified of letting his emotions get the best of him in front of people, so he opted to silently suffer.

It was on Saturday of that week that George and Martha pulled him down in the living room for a 'talk'.

**Well this is it. They are actually going to kick you out. Hey, but atleast you made it farther than with the Larsons. So, to be fair, this isn't the worst you've done.**

Before either of the adults could get a word out, Alex was on his knees begging to not be put back into the system.

"Please. Please! I will do anything. Anything! Please don't put me back! I don't know- I don't think-" George quickly calmed him down and gave him a small smile.

"Son," he began, "we aren't going to kick you out. Ever."

"We love you Alex."

**They're lying they hate you no one could ever love you.**

Alex wearily nodded, not quite following. That is the only reason anyone has ever sat down to talk to me. To kick me out.

"I..." Alex wanted to say something in response, but his throat closed and all that came out was a few inaudible noises.

"We....wanted to talk to you about your education; about school." God, Alex hated school.

Well, not really. School itself was fine. Alex loved learning new things. It was one of the only things, in Alex's mind, that he was really good at.

However, the people made Alex feel, to state it simply, less enthusiastic. Every school, and Alex had been to a lot, the kids seem to enjoy taunting the poor boy. No matter where he was, he always attracted the wrong people. He guessed he was pretty good at that, too.

"Oh..." Alex hesitated, "Alright."

Martha smiled brightly, "The foster system said that you are very intelligent for your age. And they said you were quite the writer."

Alex blushed, "Um, I guess so. I like to write."

"That's good." George uttered, "because we got you this." Reaching into a bag beside him, George pulled out a lap top, silver in color with a shiny border.

Alex's eyes widened with excitement. "For your writing." Martha beamed, her eyes twinkling at the younger boy's reaction.

As George handed it over, he began to speak once more, "I also assume that we could sign you up for the local high school tomorrow? And if you're ready, you can begin on Monday."

"I....I'd really like that." Alex lied, but knew he couldn't refuse. They were being so nice to him, after all. "T-thank you so much. I...I don't deserve this." He almost wanted to give the laptop back to them.

"Sweetie," Martha smiled, "you deserve this and more."

Maybe this would work out.

**Oh, we both know that nothing ever works out.**

Later that evening, Alex had once again been invited by Lafayette to go and meet up with their friends.

Alex pulled his hair into a messy bun and threw an oversized sweater and jeans over his scarred and bruised body. He like oversized flannels, sweaters, and sweatshirts. They were good at hiding the injuries he had received over the years. They didn't usually raise any suspicion either.

Except when it was a hundred and two degrees out. That had seemed to pose more of a problem.

At first, as he descended down the stairs into the kitchen, where Laf told him to meet them when he was done getting ready, Martha gave him a strange look. He cowered from her gaze and continued to walk throughout the house. As he walked inside the kitchen, he saw Lafayette in a pair of shorts and a loose-fitting tank top; their hair up. George was standing next to them, the two of them chatting. When George saw what Alex was planning on wearing, he simply rose a brow. Lafayette, on the other hand, gasped in terror.

"Mon ami! This is- you can't wear that!" They threw their hands up into the air, exasperated, "You were certainty get heatstroke...or-or..."

"Do you want me to give you some money so Gilbert and you can go buy some summer clothes at the store?" George questioned, looking concerned at the thought of Alex getting heatstroke.

"No!" Alex exclaimed quickly. "I mean...no, that isn't necessary."

"Son, you can't-"  **DON'T-**

"Seriously. I lived in the Caribbean when I was really young and I wore stuff like this all the time." Alex didn't want to tell them that, he really wasn't ready, but he needed an excuse and this seemed to be the most believable. Alex really hated thinking about before.

"I-i suppose so." George didn't look convinced. Lafayette still had their jaw on the ground.

"Can we go now, Laf?" He really wanted to get out of this situation. If they continued to press, he was afraid that they would be suspicious of something.

"Oui......let us be off, mon petit lion."

Lafayette led Alex to the door and, as they were exiting, they explained to Alex that they would be meeting the Revolutionary squad (as Laf put it) and the Schuyler sisters at a small burger restaurant about 10 minutes from the house. As Lafayette put it, however, it was a death-sandwich restaurant. They said that they couldn't understand how Americans could like the greasy things.

"So you don't like them?" Alex had asked.

"Of course I do!" Lafayette faked a gasp, "They are amazing!"

Throughout the whole walk, Lafayette was talking enough for the both of them. Alex remembered how, when he was young, he loved to talk up a storm. However, that had changed when he was six. When his father started-

"Bonjour, John; Hercules!" Alex hadn't even realized that they had made it to their destination, but he was nonetheless happy. He felt extremely hot and lightheaded, and was more than happy to just take a break.

He simply waved to Hercules and John (who both gave his clothing choices rather weird looks) before following the of them inside of the building. The Schuyler sisters, who were already sat at a large table, greeted Alexander happily.

"Hello, Alex!" Eliza smiled, resting her head on the palm of her hand. Angelica winked and waved. Peggy, however, gave him a weird look.

"Dude." She sat, dumbfounded, "It's a hundred - something degrees out. And you're wearing a sweater and jeans. Are you asking to overheat and die?"

"Yeah." Hercules yawned. "How have you even made it this far? I'm concerned."

"Mon Petit Lion here says that he comes from the Caribbean, so he is used to the, uh, heat." Lafayette sat down in between Hercules and Peggy. Upon noticing that Alex had not yet moved from when he walked in, John gestured for him to come and sit next to him and Eliza.

"The Caribbean?" Angelica questioned, "Where exactly?"

Alex, becoming upset and uncomfortable at the questions directed towards him, tried to fight down the panic that was beginning to grow inside of him. "Uh....Nevis."

"How was it like? I've never been anywhere besides England and here." Eliza marveled, her eyes twinkling as she stared intently at Alex.

John noticed when Alex talked, he became more and more upset. "Oh. It was.....nice, I guess. It was pretty. The water was so....blue. And clear. The sky was always so-"

**Yellow. It was yellow. You had looked up and all you could see was yellow. Your nose filled with the smell of dead bodies and blood and everything was so yellow-**

"clear. The sky was always so clear." Again, Alex's hesitation didn't go unseen.

"Well." John smiled. "How about we order some food!" For a split second, Alex could see that John was looking at him. Alex knew that John noticed the panic that was starting to spread across his face and knew that he was trying to save him from getting any more upset.

And for once, Alex was entirely grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I JUST READ A STORY WHERE LAF WAS NON BINARY AND I THINK I WANT TO GO BACK AND CHANGE LAF's PRONOUNS TO THEY THEM


	6. Lafayette the French Baguette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JUST SOME BONDING I GUESS

Alex had opted not to eat anything, much to the protest of everyone else. Alex was very used to not eating all. Whether it be by choice or from the neglect of his previous caretakers.

"Seriously. I'm fine. I'm not hungry." He had laughed off their concern. His friends (?), a now realizing that arguing with the stubborn boy was pointless, reluctantly left him alone on the matter. Angelica looked pissed off, but decided not to say anything else.

After everyone had finished their meal, the group had payed and then left the restaurant, laughing and smiling.

"So. I heard from Laf that you're going to be coming to school Monday." Hercules stated, giving a side glance to Alex.

He shrugged. "Yeah. We're going to go sign me up tomorrow." Alex looked less than excited.

"Not very excited for it?" John questioned, looking down at the smaller boy.

Alex's eyes widened, "I am! I mean- I'm excited to see you guys more, but...." he looked embarrassed.

"But?" Angelica asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know." Alex hesitated, "I've never really been to a school that I liked."

"What do you mean?" Peggy questioned.

They all noticed when Alex became tense.

"Don't push yourself, mon petit lion." "I-it's okay." Averting his eyes away from the group, he kicked the ground nervously. "I was never the most...liked kid, I guess. I tend to get angry easily and...I run my mouth. What I say is generally not appreciated." Alex shrugged his shoulders and then fell silent.

"Well," Angelica rubbed up against him. Surprisingly, Alex didn't move away. "If it makes you feel any better, your opinion will always be valued in our little group. We'll never hurt you, Alex." She gave him a sad smile.

"T-thank you." He smiled, a big toothy grin that made the hearts of the group just melt.

**Mister Flor-**

'No Alex don't think about him not him don't think about it-'

"-so Monday then? Same place?" Alex hadn't even noticed that Eliza was talking to the group until John had nudged him, a concerned look on his face.

"You okay?" He had asked, quietly, "You zoned out there for a second."

"Yeah." Alex yawned, "I'm just a little tired."

"Mon petit lion!" Lafayette exclaimed, "We must get going if we want to get home before George and Martha begin to worry."

"Okay, Laf." Lafayette, who was now standing next to Alex, wrapped their larger hand around Alex's smaller one. Panic started to set in, but john grabbed his attention before he could let go of Lafayette's hand.

"See you on Monday, Alex." John smiled, his eyes bright. Alex could have sworn that his freckles were like stars in the night sky.

"See you on Monday." Alex dreamily said. Lafayette laughed.

"Alright, how do you say, love birds. Alex and I are going to be heading home now." Everyone else said their goodbyes.

A few minutes later it was just Alex and Laf. "So," Lafayette winked, "John?"

"What?" Alex let go of Lafayette's hand and wrapped his arm around himself. His cheeks became crimson, his eyes cast anywhere but on Laf's grinning face.

"Oh, mon petit lion." Laf chorused, "I won't tell a soul." He paused. "What made you, as they say, 'fall' for our john?"

"Well, h-he's really pretty...and nice..." Alex paused, "It's just a little crush, is all. It's nothing."

**It's not like anyone has ever loved you back anyway.**

'There was m-mom and Devon-' **They're dead.**

**They died and it's all your fault. It's always your fault.**

"-well, I think it could be more, mon ami."

"I don't know, Laf. It's just...I really hardly know him. I don't-"

**Don't trust him yet you can't trust anyone they'll hurt you hurt you hurt you-**

"-think I can get into any relationship right now. It's not like he likes me, anyway."

"Ugh." Lafayette groaned, "are you even listening to yourself? John looks at you like a lovesick puppy!" Alex blushed.

"I just- I can't get into a relationship now." Laf nodded in understanding,

"I know, mon petit lion. I'm sorry if it seemed as if i were pushing you into something."

"No, Laf. It's fine." Alex reassured, flashing a small smile.

As the two made it home, Martha greeted them with a smile. "Hello!"

"Bonjour, Martha!" Laf cheered. Alex gave a small wave.

"Are either of you hungry?" She questioned, "I have some leftovers if either of you are interested." Lafayette shot a look at Alex, and when he made no attempt to say anything, Laf decided to speak for him.

"Alex didn't eat anything today. You must be hungry, oui?"

Alex sputtered when Martha gasped, "You must be starved! Please, follow me into the kitchen." As Alex began to walk from the room to go after Martha, he turned back to Laf and almost smiled at the dorky grin that was spread across their face.

He supposed that maybe this wasn't as bad as he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short. :( longer one tomorrow :)


	7. Principal John Adams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is terrified for the first day of school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so i went back to all the previous chapters and added some stuff. Nothing too serious or critical to the story, though. But, just to let everyone know, Lafayette is now non-binary (i changed it so they reveal that in the first chapter) and have changed all pronouns for them. Also, in the second chapter Laf finds out that Alex can understand and speak French and added a short dialogue so that they comment on it. Also added a few more thoughts from Alex, most note worthy being his distaste in being called son by George. This was added in for things to happen in later chapters, so i wanted to make that known,

Alex, dark circles surrounding his tired eyes, intently continued to write through that night and the next morning. He had been awake for two hours, making sure that everything and everyone in the house had fallen into a sleep and stilled. He tiptoed to his bag on the floor and pulled out a three-quarters dry pen and his leather-bound journal and began to write about everything and the sun. He hadn't meant to stay awake for as long as he had, but his swallowed fears of closing his eyes and facing his mind had forced his blood-shot eyes to continue to shoot across the page and his numb hand to write.

As the sun began to rise over the horizon, he suddenly shot up and remembered what this day really meant. It was time to go to the cold and unforgiving place known as high school.

The day before, Alex had gone with George and (after much begging and pleading) Lafayette. It was a seemingly pretty simple process: go in, meet the principal, and fill out some forms. However, as soon as he noticed the principal's annoyingly lazy personality and composure, he hated him. Principal John Adams, as he had introduced himself. Next, as Alex hastily grabbed the small stack of papers, he saw that there were atleast 3 different fonts. Definitely unprofessional, he had thought. After that, he had panicked at the personal questions that had begun to pop up.

_Whats your sexual orientation?_

_'What's* your sexual orientation.'_

Nervously smiling at what he wrote, he moved onto the next question. 

_Have you ever participated in the act of sexual intercourse?_

**Oh god oh god they know they know they know-**

Panic had risen in his stomach and he felt like vomiting. His mind was racing, but he had fought down the anxiousness when Lafayette, George, and Mr. Adams had walked in, chatting. Alex, in a rush, skipped the question and handed the packet to his principal. "I'm done." He stated, "Is there anything else?" Mr. Adams shook his head and sat down on a couch at the other end of the room, lounging. Alex then turned to George, shaking slightly. He kept his gaze to the ground. "Can we go?" 

"Sure, son." With just two words, Alex felt like he was back on Nevis, his father standing over him, another man standing by the door, giving him a sick smile.

_**"Please." Alex begged, "Please don't do this again." When he saw the man at the door begin to fiddle with his pants buckle, he shuddered. "P-please let him be g-gentle."** _

_**"Sure, son." His father's voice was dripping with venom and he chuckled darkly. "But, now that I think about it, he's paying for it rough."** _

"Don't call me son!" He growled, even scaring himself with his own voice.

**You fucked up he's going to kill you he's angry and he's going to kill you.**

George looked mildly startled. Lafayette's eyes were wide and alarmed. They had never thought that a boy like Alex could muster such anger.

Alex faltered, "I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean it you can call me whatever you want it has never bothered me I'm so sorry but please don't hurt me I'll never do it again-"

"Mon petit lion, please." Lafayette spoke, "It is okay, oui? George knows you meant nothing of it. D'accord?" They shot a look over at George.

"Of course, Alex. If me calling you that upsets you, you should have told me the first time." 

**You messed up again you always mess up you are a mess up.**

"I'm sorry." He whimpered, cowering away from their gaze.

"Don't apologize, Alex. I am not mad nor upset." George gave him a comforting smile.

Now, as the memories of the previous day died down, Alex simply gazed out the window. When someone knocked on his door, he jumped slightly, but allowed them to come in.

It was Lafayette, not like it surprised Alex in the slightest. They had a smile on their face, a brightly colored T-shirt on their body. "Bonjour, Alex!" They cheered, but rose an eyebrow at Alex's disheveled appearance. "Did you sleep at all last night, mon petit lion." Alex shrugged.

"I'm fine." Lafayette didn't look very convinced. 

"You must sleep, Alexandre. Would you like to stay home?" 

"I don't sleep well, that's just that. And no thank you, I will be fine. I am used to the, uh, lack of sleep." Once again, he shrugged.

Lafayette frowned, but nodded. "If you get at all overly tired or dizzy, tell me. D'accord?"

"D'accord." Alex agreed. He became confused when Lafayette started to laugh.

"Maybe D'accord will be our always." They spoke, laughs breaking up their words.

"What?" Alex cocked his head to the side.

Stopping suddenly, Laf's eyes widened. "You've never seen The Fault in Our Stars?" Alex shook his head.

"I was never really allowed to watch television in my previous placements."

"Oh mon Dieu...we must change that! We are going over Hercules tomorrow to watch as many movies as we can fit in!" Alex nodded and laughed as their excitement. "Oh right! We need to leave for school soon. It is close enough where we can walk, oui?" Once again, Alex nodded.

Lafayette, as they were about to walk from the room, quickly turned back. "Also! The 'gang' as you say is going to be coming with us to the mall after school. Martha said you would need a phone to contact us whenever you need to. As well as some new clothes. Herc and I are here to help you with that." They sent a wink at Alex, who shook his head.

"Laf, as much as I appreciate it, I don't have that kind of money." Or any, if he was being honest.

"Oh no." Laf chuckled, "Mon petit lion, do not worry about money at all. Martha was very clear that she would pay for any and all expenses." 

**What's the catch? What will you have to end up doing in order to pay them back? There is always something.**

"Laf, I can't-" 

"I will not take no for an answer!" They laughed, "I have some school supplies for you to use downstairs when you are ready to go." And with that, they were gone. Alex didn't begin to move to get ready until he couldn't hear the thumps of Lafayette's feet on the ground anymore. Turning around and waltzing towards his closet, he yanked out an oversized, moss green sweater and a pair of jeans. Throwing them on, he grabbed a pair of heavily scratched and extremely old glasses from his dresser and shoved them into the pocket of the book bag he had arrived at the house with. Sighing, he grabbed a hair tie and put his hair into a high ponytail. 

He sent one last longing glance at his room before shuffling down the steps to where Lafayette was bound to be waiting.

The two walked to school, which only took about 10 minutes. When they had arrived, Alex felt butterflies in his stomach as his legs shook with anxiousness and terror. "You have your schedule, oui?" Alex nodded, "Good. At lunch time, come to the cafeteria and meet the sisters, John, Herc, and I at a table in the back corner. You really can't miss it." Once again, Alex nodded. Lafayette smiled and wrapped his arms around Alex, causing the small boy to flinch. "You will be fine. I believe in you, mon petit lion." Alex wanted to yell at Lafayette to come back, but his throat seemed to be closed and refused to open back up.

Oh God, this was bound to be fun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was planning to write about the first day of school and that's it, but I wanted to do a bunch of stuff leading up to it. Anyways, I'll do the actual school part soon :)))


	8. Charles Lee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex finally begins his school day, but is quick to make costly mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was going to make this longer but i need to study :'((

Alex was quick you find his first period classroom with little trouble. After stopping at his locker, number 1776, he meekly walked into the English classroom. He quickly glanced at the other bodies in the room. It was a decently sized classroom, the desks in straight rows in front of a chalkboard. There were about 12 other kids in the room, all huddled together in small friend groups or simply reading books and doing homework by themselves. Alex walked over to a desk in the back of the room and sat down, placing his things on top of the table. Sighing, he nervously waited for the bell that would signal the start of class.

"Alex?" He startled, jumping slightly in his seat. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you."

He glanced at the owner of the voice and smiled slightly. "Hi, Eliza." She smiled, her teeth showing behind her lips.

"So, first day of school? Excited?" He shrugged and fiddled with the rings of his notebook.

"I suppose. I'm a little nervous, I must admit." 

"Don't be!" She reassured, "Everyone will love you, Alex." As the bell rang, she took a seat next to him. He was glad that he wasn't a complete stranger to all the kids in the class. 

"Good morning, class." The teacher said, his voice monotone. "It seems that we have a new student joining us today." Alex noticed people looking around, a few of their eyes eventually landing on him. "Alexander Hamilton?" The teacher'd eyes landed on him. "Please stand." Reluctantly, he did. "My name is Mr. Thomas. It is nice to meet you." Alex could tell, by how his voice lowered, he didn't think it was all that nice. "Please introduce yourself."

Alex hated receiving attention from strangers. It made him feel pressured and uncomfortable. "U-um, my n-name is A-a-Alexander Ham-Hamilton." He noticed when a group of boys snickered in the opposite corner of the room. 

"Mr. Thomas!" One of them called, "May I ask our new student why he, an awfully timid guy, could possibly deserve such a name?" His friends erupted into laughter, causing Alex to slowly sit back down and his face became red with embarrassment. He could see Eliza giving him a sympathetic look out of the corner of his eye. 

"That is quite enough, Charles." Mr. Thomas didn't look too concerned with what the boy had just said.

Alex couldn't quite get himself to focus as the class dragged on. As interesting as 'The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn' was, they were all already in the middle of the book and Alex had read it at least 12 different times in his life. 

The next thing he knew, the bell was ringing and he was subconsciously standing up and heading for his locker. He bid Eliza farewell and went on his way. As he opened up the metal door and reached for a book inside, the door was slammed closed on his arm. He tried to hold in a scream as the edge of the door dug into his arm, cutting the skin. He hissed instead, his head whipping over to the boy and his friends. They boy who closed the door Alex recognized as Charles Lee, the boy from his English class. Alex tried to free his arm from the locker, but Lee laughed and pushed harder. 

"Well, isn't is A-a-Alexander Ham-Ham-Hamilton." He mocked, laughing once again when Alexander whimpered in pain. Alex was terrified, his mind racing as he desperately tried to get away from the boys. "Look at me, asshole." Lee sneered, grabbing Alex's face and turning it to face him. "You aren't shit."

Alex trembled under Lee's gaze. 

**DON'T BE PATHETIC KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS KICK HIS ASS-**

Before Alex could even attempt to lift his fist, a voice was yelling down the hallway. "Lee! What the fuck are you doing?" Alex looked up to see Angelica Schuyler running at Lee full force. 

Lee, stunned, let go of the locker. Almost immediately Alex was on the ground, clutching his arm. 

"Get the hell out of here!" Angelica screamed, "Or I'll kick you asses to hell and back!" Lee, looking slightly intimidated, still scoffed and turned towards Alex. "Watch your fucking back, bitch." He turned to the two boys beside him, "Sam, George: let's go."

Once they turned the corner at the end of the hallway, Angelica was down at his side. "Oh my god, Alex. Are you alright?" He nodded, but winced upon moving his arm. Angelica, grimacing, grabbed his arm. Alex instinctively flinched away, his good arm going to cover his face. Angelica frowned, but retracted her hand and spoke in a quiet voice. "Alex," she started, "I need to make sure your arm isn't broken." He peeked his eyes out and whimpered, making Angelica's heart break in two. He cautiously and slowly offered his arm over to the girl. She smiled thoughtfully in response. "Thank you." 

She, with great caution, rolled up the sweater sleeve. She gasped at the sight. The arm was swelling and horribly bruised. "I'm going to bend it, okay? I'll be careful." She made a move to bend it and, when she saw it could, declared that it was not broken. "I don't think it's broken, Alex. I think you should go down to the nurse, I can walk you-"

"No!" He yelled, yanking his arm back and wincing. "I'm fine." He got up and quickly and opened his locker, struggling to grab his stuff with his arm. 

"Alex-"

"I'm fine, A-Angelica. Thank you for your help. I'll see you at lunch, yeah?" She nodded reluctantly. "Bye, Angelica." And only seconds later, Alex was gone and off to his next class.

Later, as the day rolled out, it the bell rang to signal that it was time for lunch. Angelica was sitting at her usual spot with the gang, but they noticed her sad appearance. They also noticed that her eyes constantly flickered over to the cafeteria door, as if she were awaiting someone.

"You okay, Angie?" Hercules questioned, taking another large bite of a burger. 

"I-I guess I'm a little worried about-" she was cut off when Alex sat next to her, eyes windened in a pleading glance.

"Bonjour, mon petit lion! How is your day?" Laf smiled, looking at their brother.

"It's been fine, thank Laf." Alex quietly muttered, looking at a book that was in front of him. Angelica noticed that his arm lay limp at his side.

"What were you saying, Angelica?" John questioned, looking at her.

When she felt Alex start to tremble, she let a fake laugh escape from her lips. "It's nothing, really. I'm just worried about the debate with Jefferson today. He's hard to beat, you know?" 

"Debate?" Alex questioned from beside her. He looked interested. They could tell by the way his eyes sparkled and gleamed, widening slightly.

"Angie here," Peggy began, "Is on the speech and debate team. She's really good. She runs it with Thomas Jefferson."

"Do you like to debate?" Eliza asked, leaning over the table to hear his answer.

"Yes!" To their surprise, his voice was louder than it had ever been before. He smiled and looked like a kid on Christmas morning.

"Well hey, I'd love you to be on the team, Alex. Of course, you'd have to try out and talk to Jefferson. But," Angelica smiled, "I'm almost positive you could make it." Even though she hadn't seen the kid talk more that a few sentences at a time, she saw a fire that burned passionately in his eyes. She knew that this is what he was made for.

"Ooh." John chuckled, his voice booming as if he were a sports reporter, "I can almost see the headlines now: Alexander Hamilton rising to fame and glory after destroying Jefferson's ass in a heated debate." Alex giggled. Hercules and Lafayette, who were both staring at John, swore that he swooned.

"Try outs for newbies are on Friday this week. Think you can make it?" Angelica asked, rolling her eyes at John.

"Sure! Yeah! Definitely!" 

"I'll talk to Thomas today and ask him about it. I'll get back to you on what you will be debating about one Wednesday. You'll need to know how to get a speech together in only a few days." Alex nodded enthusiastically.

The rest of the day went my pretty smoothly. Got a few glares from Lee, but finding out that he had several classes with his friends made up for it.

 **Alex they are going to leave you Alex like everyone else they hate you Alex.**  

As he walked out of the school, bookbag slung over his shoulder, he saw his friends hanging by the west entrance. He waved with his good hand and rushed over, thrilled to be seeing them again. "Hi guys!" They smiled at him and Lafayette began to speak.

"Remember, mon petit lion! We are all heading the the mall! So, how you say, get in losers, we are going shopping?" John groaned. 

"Laf, you don't even have a car." Alex laughed, making John sheepishly smile. 

"Ugh, well excuse moi." Laf flipped their hair sassily and began walking down the sidewalk, wagging their hips. The girls laughed and Hercules and John rolled their eyes. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my injured arm. May they Rest In Peace.


	9. Bruises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the mall and stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SLIGHT PANIC ATTACK, HOMOPHOBIC SLURS

They all arrived at the mall with little to no trouble. However, as the day bore on and the temperatures rose, Alex felt himself become lightheaded.

"Te sens-tu bien, mon petit lion?" Lafayette asked, looking down at the smaller boy. Lafayette would have normally found it cute, since the boy was a little under five foot, but seeing him shaking as they walked raised flags around them.

Alex looked up, "Je vais bien." He hesitated. "Peut-être un peu chaud."

"Un peu?" They almost wanted to laugh at Alex. 

The others were watching the interaction with confusion. "You speak French, Alex?" Peggy asked, looking interested.

Nodding, Alex began to speak, "Yeah. My, uh, m-mom taught me. There were a lot of French-speaking people on Nevis, so she thought it was important for me to know." Alex nervously looked at his feet and kicked a rock that was under his shoe.

John smiled, causing Alex's heart to throb, "That's really cool, Alex."

Suddenly, Lafayette cleared their throat, "Mon petit lion." They warned, "We must focus on getting you inside, oui? I do not want you to pass out."

"j'irai bien." He muttered quietly, leaning against the tall French human. 

Sighing, Lafayette looked down, "We must go inside to get you your clothes anyways, oui?" Peggy squealed, jumping from her spot. 

"I'm going to pick you out a dress!" When she saw Alex's less than enthusiastic expression, she huffed. "I personally think you'd look cute in a dress. Just try it on, damnit!" 

"You'd be better off just trying it on." John whispered, "Peggy is a tough one to persuade."

Growling, Peggy propped her arm on John's shoulder, "I heard that, asshat."

Once they were inside, Lafayette gasped and sprinted into an electronics store. When they came out a few minutes later, they were holding a phone with a moss green case on it. "Here." They chimed, handing it to Alex. "Martha said that she wanted you to get a phone for...eh...emergencies!" 

"Thanks, Laf." Alex whispered as he ran his fingers across the sleek case. He'd never had anyone give his anything like this before.

**You think they are just giving this to you? Everything comes with a price.**

"-before they run out of good stuff!" He cut off his thought with Peggy's cheery voice. Eliza laughed.

"Peggy, they aren't going to run out of clothes. Slow down." 

"I was thinking of maybe getting you so tank tops, Alex?" Peggy asked, glancing at him. "Sweaters aren't good here; not in this heat, anyway." Alex found his breath being caught in his throat.

"I-I appreciate t-the offer, b-but I-I like what I ha-have now, thank you." He stuttered, receiving a few odd looks.

"Is something the matter, Alex?" Hercules questioned, looking mildly concerned at the boy's stuttering. Quickly, Alex shook his head.

"Come on." Peggy begged, "I want to see what you look like in them!" 

Before he could get the words of disapproval from his mouth, the voice cut him off.

**You can't say no you can't say it if you do they'll hurt you they always do-**

"O-okay." He muttered, catching Angelica's eyes as he turned his attention to the floor. He could hear Peggy cheering.

They walked into a store that Alex had never even seen before. It made sense, it's not like he had ever been to a mall before, anyways.

as soon as the walked in the large room, Peggy gripped Lafayette and John's hands and began pulling the two with her. As she called for Hercules to follow, she said something about them knowing a thing to two about fashion.

"You do know that you don't have to agree to everything Peggy gets you, right?" Angelica asked, sending him a worried glance. "If it makes you uncomfortable..."

"No! It's...I don't mind." 

Angelica looked upset at his answer, but decided not to push it and went on to other matters. "Does it hurt?" She brushed her fingers on his arm, causing him to flinch back.

"Why would his arm hurt?" Eliza asked, her eyes widening in concern and fear.

Looking at Alex, Angelica spoke softly. "Alex...I won't say anything. Only if you want to."

Taking a deep breath, he sighed, "I...got into a dispute with Charles Lee in the hall today." Eliza's eyes seemed to burn with anger.

"What did he do?" 

"Um..." Alex cast his eyes to the ground, "Smashed my arm in a locker?" 

"Let me see it." Eliza demanded, but as she offered out her hand, Peggy came running back with ten shirts piled into her arms.

"Alex! I would like you to come try these on please." She smiled sweetly and Alex was more than happy to oblige.

Luckily for him, Peggy had kindly picked out a few sweaters for him to wear. When he tried them on, Peggy asked for him to show them to see if they looked nice. He, of course, did as he was told. 

"Nice." She smiled, "Before you, I didn't think anyone could pull of green so nicely." Alex smiled and gave a small laugh. 

However, his luck ran out when Lafayette handed him several tank tops. They were of various colors and honestly didn't look bad, but the idea of having his arms being revealed made him tense.

He tried them on, and winced as he saw himself in the mirror. His arms were covered in an array of different colors. The swelling of his arm went down, but the bruise and cut Lee had given him still looked just as terrible. 

"Come on out and show us, Alex! I'm sure you look super sexy." Peggy joked, but was scolded by Angelica and told not to push him into doing anything he didn't want to. 

Alex wanted to say that he hated the shirts; that they looked awful on him, but refrained from doing so. Peggy had gone through the trouble of picking these out for him. Alex didn't want all her trouble to go for nothing. He didn't want to seem like a selfish bastard.

Opening the dressing room door, he stepped out, hugging himself slightly with his good arm. He could feel the stares of his friends as there eyes trailed up his arm. "I...uh...don't know how much I like it."

"Alex...?" He looked up from the floor to see Lafayette standing in front of him, tears in their eyes. 

 "I...shit...I didn't know, Alex. I'm sorry..." Peggy was looking at him, shaking slightly.

"No! I...ah....this is d-definitely not your fault. I'm fine." Alex tried to muster up a smile, but Hercules was at his side, his arms wrapped around the smaller boy. Alex tensed as he felt the long and muscular arms snake around him, but soon found himself leaning in to Hercules' hug. 

"This one's newer." John cautiously stated, pointing at his new bruise on his arms.

"Ah...y-yeah." 

"Fucking Lee." Angelica seethed, before leading Alex out of the store (after buying the clothes that Alex did like) and sitting him and herself at a large table in the corner of the food court. The others followed.

"Lee?" Lafayette hissed. Alex realized that that was the first time they had truly seemed angry. "As in Charles Lee?"

"Who else?" Angelica dryly laughed, glaring at her fists.

"What happened, Alex?" John asked, sitting beside the shaking boy.

"Um...I was having trouble finding my locker, so when I did find it, uh, there was no one in the hallway. So...Lee and his friends followed me to my locker and when I was reaching in with my arm to grab my books, Lee slammed the locker door on my arm. It...uh...doesn't really hurt, though."

"That asshole." Lafayette cursed, their eyebrows scrunching up above their eyes.

"It's...uh....fine." Alex hesitantly reassured. None of them looked convinced and Angelica was about to open her mouth to say something else, but Alex cut her off. "I, um, can we go?"

Hecules nodded, leaning against Lafayette. "Sure, little lion, let's go."

Alex was silent the whole walk out of the mall. He was internally trying to calm his inner panic before he had a full blown panic attack.

"Is that...?" Peggy questioned, squinting her eyes at a group of figures that were fast approaching.

John cursed under his breath, "Speak of the devil and he shall come."

"Charles Lee, George King, and Samuel Seabury. I'll fucking fight them." Alex almost stumbled back when he heard the words leave Eliza's lips. Angelica saw his worry and gently laughed.

"'Liza can be really scary when she wants to be." 

"Well," Lee chorused as he sauntered over, "If it isn't little Alexander Hamilton." He was quick to approach Alex, who flinched back.

"I think you're scaring him." Samuel smirked.

"Awe. Are you scared?" Lee taunted, "How's the arm?" Before anyone could stop him, he clenched his hands over both arms. When he started squeezing Alex's arms violently, the smaller boy could only whimper and try to get out of Lee's tight grip. Alex could feel the panic that had settled only seconds before quickly flood into him.

"Fuck off, Lee!" John.

"Let go of him!" Peggy.

Alex suddenly felt the pressure on his arms let go, sending him to the ground immediately, breathing heavily. John and Hercules were by his side in seconds

Lafayette stood in front of Lee, their usually kind eyes burning holes through the other boy. Although Lee was shorter than Lafayette, he definately surpassed him in terms of strength. Lafayette, however, was holding onto Lee's shoulders with a tight grip.

"Let go of me, faggot!" Lee pushed from Lafayette's grip and glared down at Alex, who was shaking violently. "Makes sense. You hanging out with all these fucking gays." He turned back to Laf and jabbed him in the chest with his finger, "Especially this one. What even is he? A boy? A girl? An it? Who the hell even knows? This fucking shit is in denial, isn't he?" He directed the question to his friends, who nodded and smirked.

At the end of Lee's rant, he turned back to Lafayette, their eyes that were once filled with fire contained fear and sadness in them. 

"Awe." Lee hissed, "The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

Seeing Lafayette, who always helped him in times where he was at his lowest, scared and hurt by another person's words physically pained Alex. Before he could comprehend what he was doing, Alex was up on his feet and charging Lee. "Shut the fuck up, asshole." Alex hissed. "Don't talk to them like that."

"Excuse me?" Lee scoffed, leaning down to meet Alex's eyes, "What'd you say?"

"Oh please." Alex laughed, "You know what I fucking said. Or are you too incompetent to understand the words that are coming from my mouth? I could speak slower if you'd like me too."

"Ha! Why don't you hit me? All bark and no bite. I'm sorry that all your friends are confused faggots-" Everyone's eyes widened when Alex's fist connected with Lee's face.

"Fuck. You." Alex hissed as Lee fell backwards to the ground. "Talk to them like that again and I'll break your arms." 

As Lee began to stand up, a snarl on his face, Alex wondered if he really did the right thing. "Let's go." Hercules gripped Alex's arm and dragged him back. 

"Yeah." Lee laughed, "Go run like a bunch of cowards. Hamilton? You have hell to pay." Thankfully, Lee didn't decide to follow them. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay soooo I'm so sorry for such a late update. Finals are soon and my teachers are trying to cram as much in as possible. I have like ten projects due next week and I'm just very stressed. HOWEVER SUMMER VACATION IS SOON AND THAT MEANS LOTS OF UPDATES.  
> Also, thank you for over 100 kudos!


	10. Thomas?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You simply must meet THOMAS THOMAS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would anyone mind if this also kinda became a Alex/Thomas story? And like John/Alex like planned as well ;)  
> WARNING FOR SUICIDE MENTION, BULLYING, ABUSIVE WORDS AND PANIC ATTACKS.

Alex found his mind racing and his anxiety at an all high as the though of Lee's words lingered over his head. After the mall, Lafayette, John, and Hercules all stayed with Alex at home when the girls announced that they had to go home.

As they sat in Lafayette's overly decorated room, Alex opened his mouth to utter an apology of sorts. He hadn't meant to get them in trouble with any-

"Mon petit lion," Lafayette spoke, "Do not apologize, D'accord? I am very appreciative of what you did." They wrapped their long arms around Alex and lovingly placed a kiss of his forehead. "I just...wish that it could have been someone other than Lee."

"It was badass." John muttered, eyes widened and sparkling. "No one has ever had the guts to punch Charles Lee. It just doesn't happen."

"Maybe," hercules muttered, "Its because anyone who did would have their life's crushed by him."

When Lafayette noticed Alex's alarmed look, they pulled him into their lap and began stroking his hair. "Do not worry, Alexandre. It will be alright." 

Later the next morning, as Alex walked downstairs from a night of no sleep, he felt his stomach twist at the thought of seeing Lee again. He had an almost positive feeling that the boy would be out looking for revenge. 

"Good morning, Alex." George smiled as the boy descended the stairs. 

"Good morning." 

"How about some breakfast? Martha had to go somewhere early this morning, so I can make you something." 

"Um...no thank you. I'm not very hungry." George frowned.

**He's angry you've upset him. Why can't you do anything right? Why do you fuck everything up?**

"I'm sorry." Alex quickly muttered, his gaze immediately switching to the floor.

"No! Alex, it's okay. How about you take something for school, though. It would make me feel better." George's eyes were as kind as his smile, but Alex couldn't help but feel the guilt twist in his gut. He nodded quickly and grabbed a granola bar from the kitchen.

"Mon petit lion! We have to go!" Lafayette came bounding in the room, a grin spread across their face.

"Okay." 

Lafayette's eyes closed for a second in a closed eye smile, but they opened them a second later and waved to George. "Bye, George!" 

"Have a nice day!" George called, "Both of you." He shot a kind smile at Alex. Alex returned it wearily.

Lafayette and Alex got to school fairly quickly. The time passed when Alex listened to all of Lafayette's tales and stories. 

"I will see you at lunch, oui?"

"Yeah."

The day went fairly well, except for a few glares directed toward Alex from Lee. He conversed with his friends in the classes he shared with them and, despite getting in trouble with Angelica for not eating, enjoyed talking with his friends in the cafeteria too.

After lunch, Alex had to go see his history teacher per their request. The teacher explained that since he had missed so much of this year, she found him a student tutor who was willing to help. After telling Alex the name of the student and what they looked like, he was set with finding them.

It wasn't hard, surprisingly. Alex spotted the dark skin and almost clean-shaven head from across the hallway. He walked up to the student and tapped them on the shoulder. The boy turned around, his eyes looking startled.

"P-pardon me, are you A-Aaron Burr, sir?" He questioned, worried for a moment that he had got the wrong guy.

"That depends, who's asking?"

"Oh! Well, sure, sir." Alex glanced at his feet, kicking the floor nervously, "I'm Alexander Hamilton. You are my tutor, sir?"

"Ah, of course." Aaron's eyes widened in realization. "It's nice to meet you, Alexander."

"Uh, same to you."

"I can help you at just about anytime. Except Tuesdays,Thursdays, and Saturdays." He paused, "I have debate club on that day." 

Alex's eyes widened. He'd remembered what Angelica said earlier that day. "So, I've talked to Thomas and I am waiting for his answer. By the looks of it, I'm sure he'll let you in. Debate is super fun, Alex. I'm sure you'll love it!"

Shaking his head to rid the memory from his brain, Alex smiled. "Sure, anytime is good with me."

"Alright. How about Wednesday after school?" Alex nodded.

"Thank you so much. This means a lot to me."

"Of course, Alexander." Aaron nodded his head, "I'm going to have to go now, my next class starts soon."

The two of them exchanged phone numbers before parting in to different directions. 

The rest of the day went just as the previous half did. He got a text during the last period of the day from Laf, who told him to meet the Rev Set out front. 

When the bell rang, Alex quickly gathered his belongings and began to walk out the front door. For some reason, he had the feeling that he was being followed. Looking behind him a few times, he found no one besides a few kids that were making there way out the door. Sighing, Alex exited the building, only to be harshly pulled to he side and away from the line of sight of anyone else that may have been outside the door. He was yanked into a skinny and small hallway off to the side.

"You..." a voice growled, "are going to pay for fucking punching me." Lee.

**You're dead you're dead you're dead you're dead finally you're going to die**

"L-lee." Alex sputtered, shaking liking a leaf as Lee moved his grip up to his throat. 

"Where's that fire now? Where's the flame?" Lee snarled. "Where is the kid that punched me in my mouth?" 

"I....'m....s.....sorry...." he could feel that had previously rushed to his lungs be quickly and abruptly cut off as Lee applied pressure to his throat. 

"Don't talk..." Lee paused for a moment, glaring at Alex, "Do you think you're special? Do you think that those people you call your friends are being kind to you just because they like you?" He waited a moment for the words to sink in, "I know you, Alexander Hamilton. You'd be surprised how easy it is to find information on a person."

"p.....ple-" Alex tried to pry the larger boy's hands away from him.

"Your a foster kid..." Lee smirked, "A useless orphan. Your mother and father left you...abandoned you. 'Cuz your useless." 

A sob broke from Alex's lips, tears flowing from his eyes and down his cheeks. "Awe, what's the matter? Mommy and daddy neglect you?" Suddenly letting Alex's throat go, Lee sent a punch flying towards Alex. It hit with a sickening crack. "You deserved it. Everything anyone had ever done to you. And...really? Thirteen other homes? You are really that fucking stupid and unwanted? You should just kill yourself-"

"Hey!" A voice yelled from down the hall, "What the hell are you doing, Lee?!" Alex fell to the ground in a mess of tears and sobbing. He shook at pulled himself into a ball, pushing up against the wall. 

"Ah, Thomas. Have you met Alexander? I was just teaching him a lesson for-"

"I don't give a shit, Lee. Get the hell out of here before I break your fucking nose?" Alex could hear Lee scoff before turning towards him. 

"Tell mommy I said hi, okay?" He fake gasped, "Oh, wait..." turning with a laugh, Lee left.

After a moment, the figure in front of his collapsed down to Alex's level. "Hey...are you alright?" When he found that Alex's breathing was quickening, he panicked. "Hey...hey! Uh...my names Thomas Jefferson." The boy tried to distract Alex. "Can you hear my voice?" Alex allowed himself to nod shakily. "Good! Good...can you tell me five things you can feel?"

After a moment, Alex stuttered out a response, "T-the lockers behind me, the fl-floor, y-your h-hand o-on my arm, the p-pain in my n-nose, a-and a p-pressure o-on m-my neck." Thomas winced.

"Four things you can see?"

Taking a deep breath, Alex opened his eyes and continued, "You. My-Myself. That cl-classroom door, and the l-lights."

"Good. Three things you can smell?"

"Um...your c-cologne..." he hesitated, "W-well, that's ab-about it. It's kinda s-strong." Thomas stifled a laugh.

"Two things you can hear?" 

"Um...r-ringing in my ears...y-your southern accent..."

"Anything you can taste?"

"My t-tears...and I think b-blood."

"Yeah." Thomas sighed, "Your nose is bleeding. The blood is dripping into your mouth." He scrambled to get tissues from his pocket. "My friend," Thomas began to explain, "Gets sick a lot. I always have to keep tissues in my pocket." Alex smiled happily.

"T-thank you..." his voice still slightly shook, but he seemed better.

"Is there anyone I can call? I...I'd like to make sure someone is safe with you before I leave...what's your name?"

"U-uh...Alexander Hamilton." He paused, about to speak again, but Thomas cut him off.

"Angelica told me about you! Said you were interested in debate club...can I call her?" Alex nodded. When Thomas stood up to leave to make the phone call, Alex grabbed onto his jacket.

"Please don't leave me." Alex had fear in his eyes, tears beginning to flood once more. Thomas sadly smiled.

"Of course." He pulled out his phone and clicked on Angelica's contact. She answered moments later.

"Thomas!" She seemed a bit panicked.

"Hey, Angie-"

"I'm sorry, but can I talk to you later? Alex-uh, that kid I told you about? He's missing. School ended and he was supposed to meet us and Lafayette is kind freaking out."

"About that...He's right in front of me."

"oh my god..." she paused, talking to someone on the other end, "Thank god, Thomas. Where are you? Is Alex okay?"

"Um...We're in the 600 hallway and...I don't think so. Lee-"

"Damnit." She cursed. "Fucking Lee, I'll kill him." Thomas could hear someone, probably Lafayette, yell on the other end. "We'll be right there. Don't leave him, please?" 

"Of course not." She hung up and Thomas sighed and looked at Alex, whos eyes were closed shut. He continued to shake. 

"They're on their way...are you okay?" Alex let out a shaky breath.

"I....L-lee should've k-killed m-me." Thomas allowed his eyes to widen.

"Hey! Don't...don't say that. I know we don't know each other, but I can tell that you're a great person, Alex." 

Before Alex could open his mouth, a few shouts made their way down the hallway. Frightened, Alex jumped up and away from the voices, crashing to the ground again. He wrapped his arms over his head and began to cry. "Hey...Alex, it's alright..." 

"Alex!" Lafayette exclaimed, rushing up to their foster brother and crumpling to the ground close to him. "I-we're not going to hurt you, mom petit lion." As Lafayette began to whisper French to the small boy, the others conversed with Thomas.

"What happened?" John asked, his voice cracking as he gazed at Alex.

"I don't...I don't know the whole story. I was coming from talking to a teacher and I saw Lee strangling him. I thought- I thought Lee was gonna kill him. Before I can even do anything, Lee just punches him in the face. Was telling him something, I couldn't really hear it, though." Thomas explained.

"Shit." Hercules muttered. "I'm going to punch Lee in the face." 

"Thank you!" Eliza cried, throwing herself at Thomas, "I'd hate to imagine what he would have done if you hadn't showed up."

"It's...Alex had a panic attack before you arrived." He glanced over, seeing Alex with his head buried into Lafayette's chest, sobbing. "He said...said he wished he was dead." He lowered his voice, making sure that Alex could not hear.

John and Hercules winced, while the girls felt tears roll down their cheeks. 

Lafayette was looking at them, tears streaming down their cheeks. "Sh, mon petit lion. je te protègerai. Tant que les étoiles continuent à briller. Et le soleil continue à brûler." They paused, a sob escaping their lips. "Je regrette de ne pas vous protéger." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation (because I thought it was slightly important.): "I will protect you. As long as the stars shine. And the sun burns." They paused, a sob escaping their lips, "I regret not protecting you."  
> Also, does anyone have a tumblr? I recently got one for my Hamilton art. It's  
> @avocato-plao Comment your usernames!


	11. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza gets a little bit on information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for such a late update! I think this is going to end up being a John/Alex/Eliza fanfic with a tad bit of Jamilton moments.

Alex was extremely glad to find that Martha and George weren't home. As he hiccuped and cried tears that had long gone dry, he found John rubbing circles into his back.

  
The group took Alex back to Lafayette and his shared home, excluding Thomas who left after making sure Alex was alright (he also gave Alex a quick hug before saying “See you at debate. Be ready for the topic you’re trying out with”)

  
Once they made it to the large house, the kids all piled into the living room. Lafayette was quick to lead Alex over to the couch, their concern overwhelming and leaving an almost stench in the air. When they tried to leave to grab the first aid kit from the bathroom, Alex whined and began to whimper. His voice was laced in fear and Lafayette soon sat next to their brother and wrapped him up in a hug. Hercules hurried from the room to fetch the medkit instead.

  
“Here, Mon petit lion. I need to clean you up.” Laf sat Alex up softly, noticing the wince that Alex emitted when he moved his back. With a sigh, Lafayette hesitantly put their hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Alexandre...I-Can I please take your shirt off? I think-I think you may have injured it when you slammed into the lockers.”

  
As the words flooded out of their mouth and into Alex’s ears, the horrible memories began to fill his mind. Because he didn't want it didn't want it didn't want it-

**  
You’re a slut just like your mother, you are a fucking whore-**

  
“Alex!” Snapping out from his thoughts, Alex glanced over and saw all his friends looking at him. He had now realized that he had been shaking like a leaf, his breath coming out in ragged gasps.

  
“I-I'm sorry.” He stuttered, looking down at his knees that were bundled up to his chest. He could feel his face heat up from the shame.

  
“Don't apologize, Alexander.” Eliza smiled softly. “If it makes you feel any better, the two of us could go into the bathroom to check you out?” Alex looked over at her before glancing at the group of people who were staring at him with concerned and sad eyes. He nodded. Eliza pulled him off the couch softly, he smooth hands wrapping around his arm.

  
She nodded at Lafayette, who gave her an appreciative smile and took Alex upstairs towards the bathroom. Once they were both inside the room, she softly shut the door behind her. “Can you sit down please?” He was quick to do what she asked. “I know you may not want to, and I'm sorry, but can you please remove your shirt? I won't touch you at all unless you are comfortable with it.” After a few seconds hesitation, he nodded and wrapped his slender fingers around the collar of his shirt. Slowly, he began pulling it off and Eliza noticed when he carefully and skillfully pulled it so it didn't rub against his back. Once it was off, he set it to the ground and wrapped his arms around himself.

  
Upon gazing at his overly bruised and scarred torso, Eliza found herself letting out a soft gasp. His body, which would have been a beautiful sculpture upon itself was turned into a horrific painting that consisted of dull blacks, blues, and yellows. “Oh, Alexander…”

  
“I'm sorry.” He whispered, “I know it's ugly and horrible and I'm so sorry you have to look at me like this.”

  
“Who-Alexander, who did this?”

  
He almost laughed bitterly, “You’d have to ask which one. There were so many…” she winced.

  
“Can I...Can I see your back?” She asked softly, approaching him slowly. She made sure her movement were predictable, not wanting to scare the boy any further. Slowly, however, Alex turned to reveal his back. Just like his front, his back was a canvas, full of paint. “I'm...I'm going to feel around, okay? And you tell me where it hurts.” Slowly, Alex nodded, hesitant at the suggestion.

  
Softly, Eliza reached forward and felt around his back, trying to reduce any pain she may have caused. He seemed to flinch a few times, but said nothing. “Does it hurt?”

  
“A little.” He sighed, “But I know that most of them are just from the bruises.” She closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath.

  
“How about here?” She applied a little bit of pressure on a red and bruised area that seemed fairly new. Alex hissed.

  
“Y-yeah.”

  
Eliza took off the pressure and grabbed a large bandage from the medkit. “Just a muscle injury.” She softly spoke, “It will heal normally on its own.”

  
Alex let out a sigh of relief, “So no doctor?”

  
“No doctor.”

  
After a few minutes of silent and Eliza treated Alex’s other injuries, she handed him a shirt Lafayette had handed her before they walked up the steps to the bathroom. Alex quickly put it on, smiling softly when he found it was one of Laf’s. The shirt was moss green and color and reached down to further below Alex’s knees.

  
When he looked up and saw Eliza gazing at him fondly, he looked down at the floor as his eyes became misty with tears. “T-thank y-y-you.” He breathed out, letting the air come out in ragged gasps.

  
“Alexander! What’s the matter?” Eliza rushed forward, quickly checking for any further injury. She gasped and flew back when Alex let out a sob, falling to the ground.

  
“I-I-I'm sca-scared!” He cried, pulling his knees to his chest.

  
“Oh no, shh.” She fell to the ground next to him, softly pulling him into her lap. He curled up against her without protest. “Don't be scared.”

  
“Lee….l-lee.”

  
“I won't let Lee hurt you.” She whispered, “Lee isn't going to hurt you anymore.”

  
He cried harder, “no! He-he said he easily looked m-me up. F-found o-out who I was and w-who my pa-parents are.” He coughed and sputtered, the tears freely falling from his eyelids.

  
“Alex…”

  
“What if he contacts m-my father!” He yelled, “I-I can't...h-he’ll k-kill me!”

  
“No, Alex. He-he won't kill you.”

  
“Yes he will! He will kill me.” He sobbed into Eliza’s chest. “Oh god….he's going to be p-pissed off at m-me for leaving! Eliza! P-please don't let him get me! Please please please-!” By this time he was screaming, his voice bouncing off the walls and coming at Eliza from all directions. She winced as he gripped onto her arms.

  
Suddenly, there was pounding outside the door and then it flung open, revealing Lafayette. Eliza knew they hadn't meant to make much noise and scare Alex, but she ended up glaring at them for it anyway. John and Hercules, as well as her sisters, appeared behind the French kid.

  
Instead of calming Alex, he began to scream and wail. “Please please please please, Eliza! I don't want to I don't want to not anymore please don't make me go back please please! I don't want to go back in the room please I promise I'll do anything you want just don't send me back to him!” Eliza could do nothing but supply him with promises and reassurances that she didn't truly believe herself.

 

 


	12. Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas vs Alex; who will win?
> 
> Also, Alex begins to realize his feelings for two friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for such a late update!

The days following got better, in a sense.

  
Everyone still noticed the little things - the way Alex would jump more and look over his shoulder every free moment. The way he would stay glued at someone's side, as long as it wasn't Lee. The way that he would never look anyone in the eye anymore.

  
“Are you excited for today, Alex?” Angelica questioned, sticking a fork into her food.

  
“For what?” Lafayette looked between the two, trying to tell what they were talking about. “What's going on?”

  
“Debate is today, Laf.” Hercules hummed, leaning against them. Lafayette made a small noise of realization in response.

  
“I'm…excited.” Alex spoke slowly, pushing his food around the tray. John noticed and frowned, but said nothing about it. That would be a conversation for another time.

  
“What crazy, elaborate plan has Jefferson set up for the initiation debate?” Hercules asked, munching on a soggy, horribly put together school cheeseburger.

  
When Alex made no move to answer, Angelica supplied it. “As you may know, Thomas likes to go above and beyond for the ‘initiation’. He's decided that Alex and him will be recreating, in their own way, a debate between the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Treasury in the late 1700’s.” Lafayette snorted.

  
“I can only wonder how he comes up with these interesting topics.”

  
“What were they debating about?” Eliza questioned, covering her mouth as she munched on a chocolate bar.

  
“Eh, that part I tuned out for. Mind filling us in, Alex?” Angelica questioned, looking at the smaller boy.

  
“Uh…” Alex hesitated, keeping his eyes cast down, “It’s a-about a tax plan that t-the secretary of t-treasury had….” it wasn't much of an explanation, but no one wanted to push him for answers.

  
“Alex, I'm sure if you can pull off this then you can pull off anything.” John supplied, smiling. Alex smiled softly before shrugging. “So who are you? Treasury or State?”

  
“Treasury…”

  
**Don't disappoint them, Alex. Don't fuck up like you always do, Alex.**

  
Alex was beginning to shut down and they all knew it. He had begun to do this, talking for a few moments and then starting to trail off. Alex didn't even have to really do anything and they would know when he was going to shut them out. He had, as Lafayette put it, a power in which people can feel the anxiousness and fear drip from him like a leaky faucet. It was rather unsettling.

  
Eliza gazed at Alex for a few more seconds, staring into his eyes. The eyes that made her swoon and fall into the hell that was love.

  
Everyone changed the subject.

  
~~~

  
“Are you ready?” Angelica asked, “you have everything set up? I can-if you need me to…”

  
“I'll be fine.” Alex smiled, although he wasn't believing his words all that much. “There is no need to worry.”

  
There is all the need to worry.

  
“If you say so…” she smirked suddenly, “You are going to kick Jefferson’s ass.”

  
Although Alex had his doubts, he couldn't help but giggle and flash her a smile. He turned from her, gathering his notecards that he had spent countless all-nighters working on and quickly glanced over them one last time. He realized that he knew them like the back of his hand.

  
Luckily for him, all of his friends had come to watch and support him. He could feel his heart swell at the fact, although he had no clue if their actions were sincere or not. He liked to think that they were.

  
“Hamilton.” Thomas entered the room, wearing a obnoxiously bright, magenta colored jacket that came down to his knees. Alex decided that that was a freakishly long jacket. “Shall we begin?”

  
Alex took in a shaky breath and nodded, “y-yeah.”

  
“Ben.” Thomas smiled over at Benjamin Franklin, one of the higher ups on the team, and signaled him to introduce their debate.

  
“The issue on the table.” He began, “Secretary Hamilton’s plan to assume state debt and establish a national bank. Secretary Jefferson, you the floor.”

  
With a laugh, Thomas jumped forward and raised his fist. Alex decided that he was way too into this role-playing debate. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We fought for these ideals; we shouldn't settle for less. These are wise words, enterprising men quote ‘em. Don't act surprised you guys, cuz I wrote ‘em.”

  
Alex remembered that Angelica mentioned that during debates they found it fun to rap their speeches, but he was taken off guard nonetheless.

  
“But Hamilton forgets his plan would have the government assume states’ debts. Now place your bets as to who that benefits, the very seat of government where Hamilton sits.”

  
“Not true!” He found himself blurting out before he could comprehend what he was doing. He could hear John, Hercules, and Lafayette laughing at Thomas’ shocked face.

  
“Ooh, if the shoe fits, wear it. If New York’s in debt-why should Virginia bear it? Our debts are paid, I'm afraid. Don't tax the south cuz we got it made in the shade. In Virginia, we plant seeds in the ground. We create. You should wanna move our money around. This financial plan is an outrageous demand. And it's too many damn pages for any man to understand. Stand with me.” He glanced at the people who were patiently watching the debate. “In the land of the free. Pray to god we never see Hamilton’s candidacy. Look, when Britain taxed our tea we got frisky. Imagine what gon’ happen when you try to tax our whisky.”

  
When Jefferson stood back, looking proud and being congratulated by another boy who hand been gripping a tissue tightly in his hand, Ben spoke once more.

  
“Thank you, Secretary Jefferson. Secretary Hamilton, your response.”

  
Alex hesitated for a moment, but when he looked at Eliza and John’s smiling and encouraging faces, he felt confidence rise within him. “Thomas, that was a real nice declaration. Welcome to the present, we’re running a real nation. Would you like to join us, or stay mellow, doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?” There were several awed gasps within the room, but Alex paid them no mind, “If we assume the debts, the union gets a new line of credit, a financial diuretic.” Alex remembered that he had checked the night before the etymology of ‘diuretic’ to make sure it existed in this era. He was exceedingly happy to find that it had. “How do you not get it? If we’re aggressive and competitive the union gets a boost. You’d rather give it a sedative? A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor, your debts are paid cuz you don't pay for labor. ‘We plant seeds in the south; we create’ Yeah, keep ranting. We know who really doing the planting. And another thing, Mr ‘Age of Enlightenment’. Don't lecture me about the war, you didn't fight in it! You think I'm frightened of you man? We almost died in a trench, while you were off getting high with the French!” Suddenly aware of his surroundings and the things he was saying, Alex gasped and backed up. He knew this was fake; just an ‘initiation’ of sorts, but he couldn't help it as his chat became tight and his nerves got the best of him.

  
**Good job, Alex. You fucking ruined everything you little shit.**

  
“Wow.” He hears John breath from a chair on the side of the room. Suddenly, John, Hercules, and Lafayette all burst into laughter. Lafayette, clutching their hand to their chest, looked at Thomas.

  
“You should have seen your face, Mon ami! Mon petit lion has, how you say, recked you?” Hercules chuckled.

  
“Come on, man. You have to let him in, that was awesome!” Alex smiled nervously.

  
After a moment of silence, Thomas glanced at Angelica, who was proudly smiling as she looked at Alex. “A word, please?”

  
When the two left the room, his friends looked at Alex. “I never thought that...that was amazing, Lexi!” Alex looked at John, blushing at the nickname.

  
“I...thank you.”

  
“There is no way they could deny you now!” Peggy cheered, “You might even surpass Thomas in skill!”

  
“I don't think-”

  
“No kidding, Pegs!” Hercules grinned, “Alex, I gotta tell you-”

  
“Alexander Hamilton, right?” The boy from earlier, the one holding the tissues, walked up to Alex and stuck out his hand. Alex slowly grabbed the boy's hand and shook it.

  
“Yeah...and you are?”

  
“James Madison. I'm a friend of Thomas’. I just wanted to-” he coughed into the tissue “s-say that you have quite a way with words. That was impressive.”

  
“Oh! Uh- thank you!” James smiled softly.

  
“I hope we can become friends, Alexander.”

  
After a moments hesitation, Alex nodded. “I...i do too.”

  
Thomas and Angelica walked in, and Alex found himself straightening up. Thomas opened his mouth to speak. “Hamilton?”

  
“Uh...y-yes?”

  
Angelica pushed Thomas, grinning ear to ear. “Welcome to the team.”

  
The room erupted into cheers, and Alex found himself smiling. Eliza jumped into his chest, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I knew you could do it!” She cheered.

  
John wrapped one of his arms around the back of Alex’s neck. Alex could feel the warm blush spread across his cheeks.

  
He looked at John; at the stars that were scattered across his beautiful face. Alex wasn't sure before, but he knew now: Alex was in love with John Laurens.

  
But, as he felt Eliza’s grip tighten, he couldn't help but smile. But almost immediately after he felt his stomach drop. Not only was he in love with John, but also the gorgeous Elizabeth Schuyler.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I'm sorry if I did anything wrong for the debate. I JUST HAD NO IDEAS AT THE MOMENT FOR WHAT THEY WOULD BE DEBATING ABOUT AND I REALLY WANTED TO UPDATE.


	13. Coffee and Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette gives advice and Alex has a talk (plus coffee!)

“Lafayette, Hercules?” Alex walked into the main room of the Washington’s (his, but he never knew when they would inevitably kick him out) home, where the two in question were sitting. He approached slowly, almost shyly.

  
“Oh, bonjour! Hello, Mon petit lion!” Laf smiled, taking their arm off of Hercules’ shoulders and turning to give Alex their full attention.

  
“‘Sup, Alex?” Hercules lazily waved, yawning and sitting up from his laying position of the couch.

  
“I-” there was the hesitation, and the duo on the couch noticed, but Alex continued moments later. “I have to tell you something.”

  
Immediately becoming worried, Lafayette bounced to their feet and bounded over to Alex- completely catching the boy by surprise. They gripped his shoulders, making Alex flinch slightly, and looked him over with concern-filled eyes. “What happened? Who hurt you?”

  
Hercules stood and punched his fist to his palm, “Who should I kill?”

  
“No!” Alex shrieked, quickly pulling away from Laf. “No...it’s none of that.” Once again, hesitation pulled him away. “It’s just...I have this thing. Well, no. I wouldn't just call it a ‘thing’. It’s more of a...well, a feeling that i have. And I've never really-I've never really felt it before. Well, I guess for my mama. But even then it was different. It was...different. I don't know how-or why. But I just know that it is.” He began to pace around the room. Laf and Herc found their seats with ease. “Anyway...I have this feeling for a person. No- two people. Two very important and wonderful people. This...feeling...makes me feel all warm and shit. Don't laugh, Laf! Hercules, that wasn't a pun. Shut up!” He sighed angrily at the two giggly figures on the couch. “Just...Listen! Anyway, whenever I'm around these two I feel like I would do whatever it takes to keep them safe. Whatever it takes, I'd do it. I just...I can't seem to rid of the feeling. I've tried, trust me. I don't want to...don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't want to be in a relationship that I will inevitably destroy. I just-” there, once again, was the hesitation “-don't know what to do.”

  
For a few moments everything was silent, the words that left Alexander’s mouth slowly soaking in. The two were upset with Alexander’s inability to realize that he truly doesn't destroy everything, but decided it best if they didn't dwell on it. They knew that if they did, it would only upset Alex further and his problem would go unsolved.

  
“Who...who is it that you like?” Laf asked, already suspecting the answer.

  
The room, once again, was engulfed in a thick layer of silence. Alex quickly murmured under his breath.

  
“What?” Hercules questioned, raising a brow.

  
Alex sighed before talking louder, “J-John…” suddenly, Hercules whooped and threw his fists in the air.

  
“I knew it! I knew it!” Lafayette, however, cut their ‘friend’ off.

  
“You said there were two, oui?” Alex stiffly nodded.

  
“Eliza.”

  
Lafayette's face burst into excitement, a large grin spreading across their features and lighting up the room. Lafayette had the ability to do that, anyway.

  
“Really? J'attendais ce moment! Je dois planifier le mariage! Eh bien, peut-être la première date. Néanmoins, ce sera beau, oui? Je suis ravi!” Lafayette excitingly jumped around, grabbing onto Hercules’ arms and spinning rapidly.

  
“Lafayette! Lafayette! Je n'ai même pas eu la chance de leur parler d'abord. Je ne sais même pas s'ils ont le même sentiment! Ou s'ils veulent être avec plusieurs personnes! Lafayette! S'il vous plaît, calmez-vous.” Alex desperately pleaded, worry spreading across his features.

  
Lafayette turned, looking mildly offended. “  
Vous devez leur parler! Vous ne voyez pas les regards qu'ils vous donnent. Ils sont amoureux de vous!”

  
“Can we pretend, for a second, that I have no clue what you two are saying?” Hercules stepped in, “I've been trying to learn more French, but I didn't catch it all. I think someone said something about a dog and an umbrella?”

  
Lafayette looked like they wanted to laugh, but decided against it. “Alexandre doesn't know if they feel the same way.”

  
“Trust me, Alex. They do. I have no doubt.” Hercules firmly nodded.

  
“Really?” Alex waited a moment before continuing, “What do I do?”

  
“Talk to them!” Lafayette cheered, “Tell them how you feel.”

  
~~~

  
Alex nervously fiddled with his sweater sleeve, standing in the middle of two chattering people. John and Eliza had so much energy, talking loudly and gaining much attention from other passerbys.

  
“So, lunch?” Eliza laughed, “Why so sudden?”

  
“I-I have s-something important t-to discuss with you two.” Alex kept his head down, mumbling and stuttering over his words.

  
John smiled softly, “Well whatever the reason, I'm glad you are doing it over food. I'm starving!”

  
“When are you not?” Eliza giggled, bumping her body into Alex’s softly.

  
After a few more minutes of talking, the three arrived at a small café Lafayette had picked out for Alex. It was called ‘Petit Fleur’ and was decorated with soft pastels and beautiful paintings and statues.

  
After being seated, Alex opted to sit on the opposite side of the booth, where as they sat side by side. Anxiety filled his stomach and made his lungs ache. He almost felt like vomiting.

  
**They won't love you they don't love you they hate you they’ll leave you you are making a mistake-**

  
A waitress in a baby blue dress approached and took their order.

  
For John, an iced mocha frappuccino and an egg and cheese sandwich on a croissant.

  
For Eliza, a vanilla latte and a strawberry Creme cake.

  
And for Alex, a black coffee. Alex never really was much for the taste of the coffee. He only drank it to keep his grounded and awake.

  
Once the waitress left, John and Eliza conversed with him as they waited for their meals. When it came, Alex noticed the slight shake in his hands as he held the mug close to his chest. He breathed in deeply and held it.

  
“So, Alex.” Eliza chimed, “What was it that you were meaning to talk to us about?” The bile seemed to rise in his throat.

  
**They will leave they will leave they will leave-**

  
“-lex?” John questioned, leaning over the table. “Calm down, it's okay. Take deep breaths.”

  
**Just do it Alex get the pain over with DO IT YOU COWARD JUST FUCKING DO IT**

  
“I like you.” He spit out, “I like both of you.”

  
“W-what?” Eliza stuttered, looking shocked.

  
Alex’s breath quickly became ragged, “you don't have to like me back but I wanted you guys to know and if you leave me I'll understand I would leave me too I just don't know why i said that i thought...I thought…”

  
“Alex.” John spoke softly, “Lexi. I love you, too.”

  
Alex forced his eyes that he didn't even know he closed open and looked at them. They were both smiling.

  
“I love you, Alexander.” Eliza grinned, “I want to be with you.”

  
“All of us.” John spoke, “If that's alright.”

  
“Alright?” Alex almost laughed, “That's perfect! That's amazing! I can't...I can't believe that-”

  
Alex was doubting.

**  
They’re lying they hate you how could anyone love you you worthless piece of shit!**

  
“A-are you lying?” He whispered, tears building in his eyes.

  
“No, Alex.” Eliza spoke without hesitation, knowing that an accidental pause would send Alex spiraling into a pit of doubt and worry. John firmly nodded, “We do. We will never leave or lie to you. We love you.”

  
Although there still was the doubt, Alex could feel his tense shoulders relaxing and a small smile erupting. Eliza and John seemed to swoon at his excitement.

  
“So...we’re in a polyamorous relationship, then?” John asked, smiling softly as he leaned his cheek on his hand.

  
“I-if you both a-are okay with that.” Alex mumbled, nervously averting his eyes.

  
Eliza smiled, “Of course, Alexander.”

  
Alex was...he was-

  
**A failure a liar they don't even know who you really are how much of a monster you really are how could you lie-**

  
-happy.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this was rushed at all! But next chapter is probably going to be a cute filler chapter as well BEFORE WE GET INTO THE SADNESS and also Maria Reynolds! She'll be here soon, don't worry!


	14. Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please read.

Hello, everyone. I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm not sure when the next update will be. I just found out about an hour ago that my grandma, whom i was very close with, passed away sometime last night. I will try to update as soon as I can, I'm sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Alright alright that's what I'm talking abouttttt


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